Sarcastic Bastard

it's been a few weeks since i've written here. since the long-lost post of december 9th, i haven't had the patience or motivation to write again! sure, there have been some things i've considered writing about, but i guess i've just been too busy or lazy to get around to it. well, here i am now, sitting at work, and i've got nothing to do. some of my friends are with their families right now, others are still in bed, enjoying the day off. me? i'm at work, with nothing good on television, no news to read online, and with a hurt shoulder.

hurt shoulder, you ask? yes. i don't yet know what's wrong with it, but last night, i did something that has caused me a lot of pain! i think it could be dislocated, which would really suck ass. i'm gonna go to the emergency room later and get an x-ray. hopefully it'll be relatively quiet, but i know it won't be. ah, the emergency room...i used to know it pretty well. i was a bit accident prone when i was a kid. although...now that i think about it, i think i got off easy. my visits to the hospital:
- when i was 2, i crashed into the screen door in front of my house. 1 stitch in the eyebrow (still have the scar)
- also at around the same age, i had a cold, and i guess i thought i'd get better faster if i drank all the cough medicine at once. i threw up all night.
- at about 6 or 7, i went to a friend's birthday party at a batting cage. the ball missed the bat and hit my thumb instead.
- a couple years later, while playing basketball at school, somehow the basketball bent my finger the wrong way.

that's pretty much it for me. like i said, in hindsight, it's not that much. and it all ended before i was 12, so i think i was okay. of course, there were other accidents that didn't require visits to the emergency room. maybe it goes in cycles. fuck that's a scary thought.

posted by leor @ 11:37 0 comments

FUCK I'M ANNOYED NOW

i just lost a long and hard-written post!

BAH

posted by leor @ 18:32 0 comments

what to say? it's all a facade. sure, i may come across as a sarcastic bastard, as my friends say, but who am i really? i'm cynical, yes, but then i'm surprised when my cynicism reveals the truth. skeptical, but still disappointed when something doesn't turn out.

i guess it's true that one must be ruthless to succeed. the old cliché says that "nice guys finish last" and that is the reality we're living in these days. i'm going somewhere with this. for 5 years, i have been working for the same company on a freelance basis. i started out, as expected, in an entry level position, with the hopes of moving up in the company. sure, i hadn't even started university yet, but i was determined to win over bosses, co-workers and clients with my hard work, positive attitude and loyalty. over the years, i have occasionally been rewarded with extra work - basketball games, football games, and most recently, a big golf tournament. of course, when i started back in 1997, i knew i'd be fairly low on the list: i was 18 years old and competing for work with people who'd been in the industry many more years than me, plus i was in school anyway, so my availability was not very good. here i am now, nearing the end of 2002, with a degree to my name, and i don't seem to have moved up on the list. people coming in as recently as 2 months ago are getting more work than me, and it's pissing me off.

i mentioned recently about the nepotism and favouritism that permeates the air in broadcasting. it's disgusting, and makes me have second thoughts about my industry of choice. but no. why should i let some fucking punk destroy my dream? it's not my fault things are the way they are! it makes me angrier than just about anything possibly can (yes, even angrier than my rants about drivers, and stupid people. those are just annoyances out there. this is my LIFE!) sometimes i wish i could just leave...go someplace far away and start a new life. i have a lot to offer. i'm intelligent, competent, and a good worker. but what can i do? i certainly can't complain...that'd pretty much black ball me for life. not gonna go postal on someone, that'd put me behind bars for life. all i want to do is work. i don't care about money, i just want a job i'll enjoy and excel at. is it too much to ask?

posted by leor @ 12:39 0 comments